Walk the Planche
by Cole Nowicki
Here it is! This is the place I was telling you about. You’re going to love it. This is a legit raw street spot—see, there’s a human turd right by the steps. Just take a piece of cardboard and scoop it up. Puleo would be proud.
Yah, I know it all looks a little different from the photos I texted you, but there’s a lot of potential here. You could grind that ledge no problem! I know you got those tech moves. We just gotta take a rub brick to it, lacquer it up a bit, maybe get you some Z-Rollers. Easy. This spot’s got lines, too! Check out this flat gap! Sure, it’s just a couple of crushed beer cans with a used condom draped over top, but it’d be sick to Switch Heel ‘em or something.
The manual pad is rad, too. I think it makes it gnarlier that you have to dodge around the rat’s nest in the middle of it. Imagine how sick a VX clip of you getting bit by the momma rat while nose manualing on here would be! Oh wow, don’t get too close—she’s huge! And hissing. Let’s back up a bit. The flat-bar is over here anyways. It’s pretty high, definitely nipple height on you, but if we set up a little kicker, you could hit it. Back Noseblunt would be tight. Oh, you don’t have those? Never mind then. I think Terry has got ‘em if you don’t want to try. I’ll just text Terry to make sure he does… OK, sent. Let’s keep going.
The barrier over here is the perfect way to end your line. Wallie outta stage left, you know what I mean? I hear you, the other side of the barrier is the freeway, but getting hit by a car is some raw street shit! That wouldn’t just be a great way to end a line, that’d be a dope way to end a video part! Hill bomb enders are getting pretty played out anyways, in my opinion.
Oh, sorry, can you hold on a second, Terry just texted me back. He says he’s got Back Noseblunts. No, I didn’t tell him that the bar is nipple height, it doesn’t matter. Remember how Dave Bachinsky said that he approached kickflipping El Toro like it was just a regular ol’ flat ground Kickflip? That logic is sound and applies to every style and obstacle in skateboarding: if you can Back Noseblunt a curb, you can Back Noseblunt a goddamn tractor trailer.
So, do you got anything for the spot? I did drive you all the way out here so you should at least try something. Nah? Well, okay. You’re gonna be bummed once people start getting clips at this shit.
Also, I don’t think I have to tell you this, but don’t go telling people about this spot, alright? I don’t want it to get blown out.